There is no "I" in others!


By Erik Farstad

January 26, 1998


"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." I Corinthians 13:11

You think you’re doing it all right and then you hurt someone’s feelings, say or do the wrong thing. What do I mean by wrong? I mean selfish, childlike behavior, looking after your own thoughts or feelings first. I chose this verse in I Corinthians because that is what a little child does, looks to him or herself first. Remember the "me-me-me" statements or "that’s mine?" We may grow older but sometimes, probably too often, the childlike ways creep back in.

Christ wants us to have a childlike heart and faith, but not to act like one. It’s when we act like a child, when we’re adults, that the pain and hurt can come. How does this start? Thinking of yourself is where it all begins. That is why Christ said to the rich man, "Go, sell everything you have..." (Mark 10:21). In essence, give up yourself for me. For the rich man it was possessions and money. For others it may be thoughts of self-righteousness or vanity. Whatever the case, you came to Christ humbled on your knees, acknowledging your sin and need of a savior. My question to you is, have you stopped being a servant?

When we are not servants, we are trying to be a leader. Two possibilities, either following or leading, no in between. A leader usually wants to order, dictate and generally have their way. But I ask you, is that a leader? No! A leader is designed to serve not to have their way. Christ was a perfect example of a servant-leader. But what made Him special? His leadership lead others to a place and a salvation which was "needed" by many. So I ask you, are you leading your friends, loved ones or acquaintances to where they need to go? They may need your encouragement, your ear, your love, your dedication, your compassion, I can go on forever. A child wants for themselves, as adults we should wants for others. Who are you?

With an attitude of a child, your leading will lead only to heartache. Are you causing heartache? Take a look at your life. Are you serving those around you? If you want to change, now is the time. What are the steps? Let’s look to what Christ taught us. You’ll remember the process, for it’s the same one you used when you accepted Jesus.

1. Acknowledge your actions. If you’re selfish, sinning or causing someone pain, admit it. It begins by admitting it to yourself.
2. Confess and ask forgiveness before the Lord. Once you’ve acknowledge your actions, let the Lord know you mean it. He knows, but your confessing is an act of "selflessness." You are showing that you are following Christ, not wanting to be your own leader.
3. Confess (and ask forgiveness if necessary) before the body. The body may be your friends, family or a group of people. By confessing or seeking forgiveness from them, you are showing others that the strongest person is one on their knees. I don’t know of a stronger statement a leader can make.


I wish I knew all your specific needs, but I don’t. So make today’s prayer your own. And remember: A true leader leads others where "the others" need to go!

In Him, "E"