Gossip & How to avoid it
By Erik Farstad
February 19, 1998
"Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness." Exodus 23:1
Does this ring any bells: You’re at work, school or at home. Someone comes into the room and this person notices everyone staring at them. Some are talking in hushed voices, looking away when this person looks in their direction. This person feels like something has gone on in their absence. The day goes on and this person notices a change in the attitudes of the people around. This person sees people acting strange around them, either extremely nice or rude. What is going on, this isn’t normal or is it? Who are you in this scenario? The one walking in the room, the one with the hushed voice or both?
A word, a reaction, a gesture, all of these things can and do speak miles to those around us. Here is a rule of thumb before I go any further. What ever comes out of your mouth or is expressed by actions or lack of actions, is considered open season for use by anybody at anytime! Consider this a good rule of thumb for your everyday life. What you give off and represent in word and deed should be worthy to be passed along. So now answer this question: Do you spread gossip, back-stabbing or malicious behavior? If you do, then don’t be surprised if it comes back to bite you. This bite can really hurt too. It can come in the form of hurt relationships, breaking of trust and most importantly detract from Christ! I feel you have one of two choices, you can either destroy lives or be a part in renewing them through Christ’s love.
O.K. so you are not the source of gossip. Even if you do not initiate the lies, slander or false witnessing, you become equally responsible if you pass it along. As a Christian your role is to put out the fires of gossip when they pass your way. I once wrote that we all are carrying two buckets, one filled with water the other with gasoline. Depending on which we choose to pour, it either increases or diminishes the flames. There are fires we want to burn, those of truth, righteousness and mercy. While the fires of wickedness, lies and slander, we should want to extinguish. You have your buckets, now it’s time to take action.
You’re at work (or where gossip happens). The rumors and gossip come your way. Now is your time. "But these are my friends, I want to belong." You hear yourself say. This is where I want to drop the bomb! If these friends, are so easy to gossip about others. What is stopping them from doing the same thing to you? NOTHING! As with anything in life, avoiding gossip takes practice. Here is the first step. Make it apparent to everyone that you desire not to know, that you do not care to listen. Politely tell them that you do not care to know about something unless it does some good for someone. Secondly you should stop gossip right there! Offer a solution to the gossip. "Hey, I don’t know what to believe, but I don’t want to spread things that are or are not true. Let’s go ask so and so..." Lastly, don’t start gossip yourself. If you find yourself dying to share that juicy gossip about your neighbor, think about the consequences first. Gossip undermines families, businesses, strains cooperation between individuals and damages your witness of God. You need to go only as far as your television, newspaper or magazine to see gossip. Isn’t there enough already!?
We live in a world that feeds off of the lives of others. Some try to crush others, putting them down, thinking they’ll have it better. What a sad misconception. Gossip spread, is like a film of filth over our world. Don’t add to the filth. If you desire to spread anything, grab the widest knife you have and spread the love of Christ as far as your life will carry you! Go in love not in gossip.
In Him, "E"