Live and Give

By Gerald Sumeracki

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned...again. Why will my heart not yield to your ways? Why do I hide in the shadows and refuse to hear?

"Thy will, not Mine is your heart. " was His reply.

Every act of selfish gratification haunts me. All things thought pleasurable now bring pain. Oh the delusion of sin, how I had swallowed the lie.

"Thy will, not Mine is your heart. " ... words of truth.

Hateful acts had caused others much pain. Deceitfulness and faithlessness had caused love to bleed. Careless words had bruised and killed... yet

My will, not God's continued my master.

I knew and counted on the Lord's forgiveness and patience. Every sin forgiven, every deed forgotten by my God. I believed my salvation assured as I continued in sin.

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned...again.

Jesus spoke to my heart. "I know the real you my son." "Who you are within can be who you want to be, through Me." "Your tent is defiled, your garments soiled, you live a life of death."

Defile? Is that what God saw of my life, a filthy, soiled rag?

My lungs cried "Yes!" as I gazed at my full ash tray, My weary frame cried "Yes!" as the scales registered my obesity. My withering liver whispered a weak "Yes.." as man's drink killed more cells.

My inner man looked upon my tent, my garments, my filthy rags!

My hidden desires, lusts, and addictions were deeply buried poisons. My lustful conquests became pointing fingers of prideful weakness. I saw a selfish man, I saw what I hated in others to be personified in me.

"Deliver me Lord, please help me sin no more," became my plea.

Jesus answered, "Ask, Seek, Knock... with your heart, not your mind." "What you do to any living soul you do to Me." "In every soul, see My presence and you shall overcome."

The reality of God's power became manifest, new life burst forth!

As my heart was filled with God, I knew love. I will share it in joy! I accepted God's bread, I no longer will cast fleshly crumbs. Now I know true love... I live! I live! I truly live and give!